The Prophecies of Fuzz are the words that all Spinely One's try to live by. They have been translated from ancient text, and although the prophecies have been held by the Council of Masters for as long as records show, they have only just been translated. Due to this, more prophecies will appear as soon as they have been translated by the Spinely Masters

A time of a new begining
The time of a new comming
The meeting of mine enemy slaves
The next lesson

The First Prophecy of Fuzz, a time of a new begining


Nay speaketh not a word again mine and my kin, and thine shalt be safe in the day that shalt come before thee, when all shalt bow down and behold the wondrous glory. Any thy and thyself alone shall be shunned from the ever evil and good, leaving thine self and thine acquaintances with nought but mediocrity. And then, from the dark land, a new man shall rise, and thy shalt know him by his name, and the manky green fleece he shalt wear. And lo, he may have many names, and be known to many by a different name, but the man shalt remain the same, and in that steadiness shalt you and thine find madness. But within that madness, thou shalt find peace as never before, but the price of the peace is war, and let it be known that the war shalt commence with the one who has many names and the one who has a name that no one can remember. And lo it came to me in a dream:
As I lay to sleep, I had a dream, no a vision.
I saw an army of salmon, 7 bands of 7, and i knew they were the trusty salmon on the deflowerer. And within the centre of each band of salmon, I saw a sailor. And I knew that each sailor was the seaman of the deflowerer. And each seaman carried a ball, all glowing and light, and I knew at once that this was the seed of the deflowerer.
And the army of salmon proceeded to the base of the world. And there they were confronted by a 7 sided fortress, and within the fortress were 7 knights of the chastity. And then, an army of 7 times 7 crabs rose from the fortress, and I knew at once that these were the crabs of the sacred virgin. And the salmon and the crabs did commence to fight a battle, of which the might was such that it did rock the very foundations of the 7 sided fortress. And during the battle, the 7 seamen of the deflowerer penetrated the 7 sided fortress and did battle with the 7 knights of the chastity. And though lives were lost and gained, the battle did run evenly. And then, rising out of the army of crabs was a giant bear call men. And I knew at once that he was the "highmen" of the virgin. And with every swipe of his almighty claws, he did smite 7 fins of 7 salmon. And then from the ranks of the salmon, a mighty warrior arouse, with a head all azure. And i knew at once that this was the 7 foot tall purple headed warrior. And with each blow of his mighty weapon did he smite 7 legs of 7 crabs. And then the highmen of the virgin met the purple headed warrior of the deflowerer, and did proceed to do battle, a battle of such ferocity and force that in my dream i did believe that even the 7 sided fortress with the 7 seamen and the 7 knights within shall fall.

And then I awoke

So hold close, to thine and thine companions, for knoweth i that the road ahead is tricky, and yet to stay behind is only to bring the wrath of thineself against thineself, and it is said that when a man fights himself, he shalt either know the real truth, or the lies of the world. But know that if thou beginst to fight within thineself, thou shalt surely die, as it is said by the one who is known to all, by names given by each, that one man alone cannot know the lies of the world. It is needed for a man that is also a woman, however still a man, not born of a woman, nor made of man, to be sacrificed at the 7th second of the 7th minute of the 7th hour of the 7th day of the 7th week of the 7th year of the 7th century of the new millennium, and then the mighty battle between the highmen of the virgin and the 7 foot tall purple headed warrior of the deflowerer. But know thee that the virgin and the deflowerer shalt meet anon, and that it is within thine knowledge the they shalt exist, although by names not know as the truth. But know that the one with many names knoweth the true, and the ways of the lies, and with the help of him and thine comrades, the truthful names of these might combatants will be unearthed.

Know also that there are those who shall stand against you in the quest for truth, as quest thou must, for no man can be given truth and accept it, it must be discovered like a beautiful pond unseen by the eyes of man. And the number of those who shall oppose thou and thine are many, but there are known by few names, the one who holdeth his weapon and speaketh through it, the girl whose body is known to many, but liked by none. There are others, the group who speak from one side of the face, and then converse with the other. The group of little shits. But know that when thou and thine companions are united in the mission and quest for truth, nothing shalt be able to hold thou.


The Second Prophecy of Fuzz, the time of a new coming


So gather and listen, for you shall hear of the time to come, as the time that has been. The time which must past has already happened, and a repeat of before shall come again.

And yet again, I had a dream. It visited me in the dark, stealing upon my soul as if to destroy it. And again, it seemed to me as a vision:

I dreamed, and I saw. A ball of light, held above as if carried by the hands of some almighty demon. And below, a land populated by animals of a type I shall not see again. And as I saw this land, I became myself on the plains of the thought. And it was there I saw the seven beasts, lounging under the 7 branched tree, each branch with 7 twigs, and each twig with 7 leaves. And upon, the central bough, I saw again, another twig. And upon this solitary twig there was a leaf. And upon this one leaf, a nest stood. The nest, on the leaf, on the twig, on the branch, stood on the tree, in a bog, upon the god cursed landscape, but within a green and luscious valley, with the 7 beasts to protect it. And lo, within the nest, I spied an egg. Upon the egg, there was a line. And on the lion, there was a mane, of golden blue. And upon the mane, there sailed a ship, heaving with full sail. And upon the ship, as with all ships, there was a rolling deck. Upon the deck, a cabin stood, with it's door wide open to the elements. And within the cabin stood a table, with a map open for all to view, and upon the map was marked a luscious valley, which in turn held a bog. And i viewed this amazed, for the bog was on the map, on the table, in the cabin, on the ship, on the main, on the lion, on the egg, on the nest, on the leaf, on the branch, on the limb, in the bog, in the valley, oh. And so I knew it to be true.

As I approached the tree, the 7 beasts did idly make joke, one asking another why could a blonde not drive over 68 miles an hour. And I knew at once this was the beast of the fool. And when I looked upon the beast of the fool, I knew I was right, for the beast did have a face not unlike that of a lower VIth. And another of the beasts did reply, and I knew at once that he was the beast of the wisecrack, for he did carry a shield. And as I looked around the tree, I saw the enemy of the beast of the wisecrack, for she came from a place not far from an arrow, the land of bow, where all do be brock-up. And the beast of the shield and the beast of bow did battle, and the beast of the shield did win every time, for it is said the beast of the wisecrack is funny, and the beast of bow is... not. And as they grew silent I saw the triple headed beast, with each face more ugly then the last, although it is said that 1, or even 2 faces are not unfair to look upon, although the speaker has been known to deviate from the truth, as well as tell the truth in plain sight. I knew this was the beast of the 2 face, for although there are 3 heads, 2 truly did not like the third. And it was said that the third head was unliked by many, as few like to look upon it, and even less would converse with it willingly. The fifth beast I saw as the beast of the north, who spoke in an accent which suited the mouths of none but it's self. The 6th beast was the beast, of which I have no wish to speak of again. And the last beast was known to me as the beast in bed, or the beast with the mighty weapon, for within his hands he held a mighty tool of 13 inches.

As I saw the beasts around the tree, I was driven to approach it, although as I came near the 7 beasts did stop the squabbling and draw near as if to attack. However, they did fall back, as if afeared, though what I know not. And as I touched the tree, it did call me. And to my ears it said "Another do come, as will come in the time ahead, as they have come in the time before. Know thee that you cannot halt, the speed of the coming, but it is down to thou and thine trusted to guide the coming into a new light. Failure will haunt thou companions at all time, and know that you will be unable to aid, just advise. Failure will result, not in the death that thine mind will seek, but in an eternal lesson with the one known as Sykes. And knoweth this, the lesson shall be forever, and thine trusted shalt not sit at the machines, but in the middle taking notes. And forever is a long time. Now go"
And at that the 7 beasts of the tree with 7 limbs, plus 1, did harry me out of the bog. And upon leaving the bog, I did fall asleep, and in my dream, I awoke here.

Now, you have been told of the quest you must undertake. It is now that you must know that you must guide the second coming.

The Forth Prophecy of Fuzz - the meeting of mine enemy slaves

(The 3rd Prophecy of Fuzz is related to the ancient tribe of the Shaneites. If you wish to read this Ancient Spinely text, e-mail spinelyweasel@hippopotamus.com.)

And so it was that I had no dreams. Indeed, did I sleep a sleep without dreams, and I knew this to be an untrue dream. Or perhaps the life that we live is the untrue dream, and the time when we dream is the only time we are truly alive. But this I do not know, so I live as I wish, although I dream in time. And during the time of no dreams, my sleep was uneasy as if the dreams were the truth and the lie was the lack of the truth in the way of the light. And so I lay myself down to sleep, and I had a dream. And the dream came onto me as if a vision.

I entered a land that I had been in before, yet the ground seemed strange to me, as if the time had changed, yet not so. And so I walked the land, and as I did, I saw someone come to meet me. As she came before me, I realised that although she was one, it also appeared as if she was 2, but joined by a common purpose or identity. And so I spoke to this being and she spoke to me and told me: "Have a care, for I care for thee and not for thine, although thine care for me and you seem careless. If this is so then thee and thine may find me at the place where you are no more, and may call me by the number 13, for the Greek doth bless thee with the alpha."

As she said this to me, I realised that mine companions, those yet to come and those who had come before me, although none to this place and with my new acquaintance, should be wary of this beast. For although she did seem that she herself had been un-struck by the stick which withdraws that fair to look upon, it was now clear that she was two inside one. And her two were different, but yet the same. In both there was the lust for the soldiers of the 7 foot warrior, but it seemed to me as if each only wished to convert or capture the soldiers of the warrior, not to continue and maintain. In the first, who shall be named the beast, there was an overbearing love for the highmen. It did seem to me as if she would never part with the leader of her side, and indeed, did she also draw a part of her chosen one into her, to keep her leader inside of her always. It can also be said that she may never lose her leader, even to the soldiers of the warrior, for she is truly named the beastly half of the being, and many soldiers shall ignore her. However, some are drawn to her, as a bitch is drawn on heat. And although they may find it as hard as a rock to reach her, they may separate her from her leader, she will never lose her affinity to the highmen, who she places above all. And then I considered the other half of this creature. And although she deserves not the name beast, she does come close. She comes close to all, but seeming to never actually deliver. In fact, in life this half doth attempt to take what she should not, and so I shall call her the thief, although she steal not much. However, though it lows me to say, she hath stolen before, a most prominent member of the force of the warrior. She hath stolen his weapon, although not the 7 foot blade. But yet, his belt knife, measuring over 10 but less then 20 inches, was stolen from the army of the force of the warrior. But although she may try to convert the weapon, it shall never be hers, for she hath lost her affinity to her leader, the highmen. And it was said that during this loss, she became infected with that which would not clear up. And due to this, the weapon is not lost, but only deviated from the force of the warrior.

And so this creature spoke to me, but I listened not to what she said, for I knew at that time, that the forces of the highmen did fight too much, and the army of the warrior did only fight to with-hold them. And so I awoke.

And know this now, that all thee and thine must take up arms, to defend. Although you may be born to one side or the other, one will subdue and one will defend. And that is how thou shalt live.

The fifth prophecy of Fuzz- the next lesson


And as it is said to me, I say it again, so that thou shalt learn as I have.
As before, I lay myself down to sleep, and as I awoke, I found myself in a place as odious as that which I left before, as I viewed the pictures that moved before my eyes. And as I looked upon the images that spoke to me in wondrous words I did ask myself
"What is it that doth give me pleasure to the mind and to the eye."
And with surety I did know that it was indeed the male of the species who doth design such a thing. And as I did watch I did also know that the image was one of humour, although the import was real. And so it was as I left the pictures and made my own way in the world. But I as you shall see, one need not make their own way, as those shall come to help thee, as it was with myself.

And so it was that I was not alone this time, as those I know as mine were with me. And together we continued upon the unknown path, knowing that we had seen what is not already. As we found the place to which we planned to venture, I found myself confronted by an animal. Although it was known to me that the animal was tamed, still was I confronted, and still did I have to defend. However, I am known to the owner of the beast, and so I was not forced to defend. And in defence is not safety, but know that attack is not strength either, and that both must be used to survive.

And so it was that me and mine entered the place of which I had been before, and at once fount that we were different and yet the same from others therein. But knowing that difference and similarity are held only by those who wish to hold them, and as it is said
"He who holds it too long finds no-one to hold it for him."
Lo, did the evening progress, and digression was found by all those around me, being known to each other and themselves as members of the order of the true quest. And to our table those who’s looks are garnished by bright sunlight and spring breeze, and also those who’s appearance is said to been attacked with the Ugly Stick. And we did accept all as those who are within mine know that the inside of a fruit always has more juice.

And as the dream progressed the owner of the beast came other. And the owner is one not grouped as before (as all know which group they are said to belong to, although none comments). And as the owner was handling the beast, conversing in the true fashion did not occur. However, being that we were one and she was part of our whole, communication in the basest and lowest form did occur. It was she who came to me, as I was seen as a leader, although not one who must do so, and spoke
"Be your age and appearance enough for you to leave, for I shall throw the animal at thou"
To which I replied
"In the end, it shall be mine that succeed, and be glad that thou art of mine own, or thou shalt suffer at the hands of my beast"
At which she was worried, as my beast is not known to many, but many know. And be that not enough, those who art mine shall aid me, such as the warrior with the weapon, who was seduced by the one of number 13, but returned to my ranks, to support the order of the true quest. And although my beast is unknown to her, her animal is known to me, as to many others whom do I know all. But as she is one who may be of the order of the true quest, there was no truth in hers or mine words.

And so did it end, and it showed me as it is now for me to show you, that although the order lies at the crest of the hill, there are many routes up the hill, and climbing may be difficult. However, knoweth that you shall be supported by the order if thou art one of the order, and that the support shall lead onto many things, least of which shall be the release of all things, including your beast. As I sayeth to you that "All things must be released from their chains. Even the deepest secrets, or most upstanding monument shall be levelled, until all are equal. And thine task shall not end there, until all are shown what is possible. For it has been said by mine own dreams, that all of the order shall be of mine and all shall be happy and safe with themselves. And all within them shall be safe to themselves, and even the most dirtiest shall be rinsed out again and again until it is all good, and Fuzz shall earn what cometh to Fuzz."

I know all the current prophecies of Fuzz, take me back